Chains
Jesus saved me. Jesus broke my chains. Jesus broke my chains of sin. He saved me and gave me eternal life; He saved me from DEATH. Yes?
Then why is that I crave approval from somebody else? HMMMMMM. #emotionalissues
Jesus broke my chains. Why the hell am I allowing myself to have chains from myself that concern other people? It’s not anyone’s fault but MINE.
I didn’t go to therapy for awhile. But I’ve recently gone.
During our discussion of my stuff, my therapist said (I’ll reference it later):
“Love has nothing to do with tattoos.”
I have a hard time putting Anna’s feelings and thoughts and opinions first. But yet, some people think I’m real selfish. Which everyone is. Amirite?
Maybe I’m selfish. Maybe I have to be to think/function normally emotionally.
I guess you could say I am/have been a people pleaser. Imagine that. But I need to stop. Other people’s/peoples’ opinions are important, but mine is the only one that matters. Amirite?
Other people who have their own emotional issues and baggage who don’t deal with it and who don’t recognize it, can often times cause harm to other people; I’ve done it. I’ve been an emotional abuser. To my old best friend. But, hey, we all make mistakes. I learned from it. Like a quote/meme I saw on Facebook:
“You will be the negative in someone’s story.”
I’ve said time and time again that I have a personality that you either love or hate… imagine that. I know there are people who don’t care for me. Their loss. LOL :)
Sometimes, people do damage without knowing they’re doing it. How do we keep from letting that effect us? That’s one of the reasons I’m in therapy. Because I’m sick of living this way ((or at least my mind is kinda like, “hello… it’s time for some (positive) change)). It’s toxic. It’s not okay. Something’s gotta give. Something’s gotta change.
Back to the tattoo comment; I know you’ve been wondering. Here’s the deal… everyone has an opinion as everyone has a butthole, right? Just because you have one doesn’t make it right or wrong, amirite? You don’t have to agree. You don’t have to accept. But for Pete’s sake… please just {shut up} about it. Right? Like we GET IT. They’re not disgusting. They’re mine. Every one of mine means something. They’re art. They’re me. I like my tattoos. I saw something I posted on my old Facebook AC ART page… it said:
“The only permanent things in my life are my God and my tattoos.”
MAN. I was SPOT ON when I was 19ish, wasn’t I?! If I only knew how relevant that would be @ the age of 23… (loosing my husband on this earth until we meet again in Heaven <3 when God calls me home). I should also write about my OCD… that’s fun. HA! Just had an intrusive thought. Gotta love it! God loves me more. MY salvation is MORE. Take that, OCD!
I kinda want to get a chain tattoo that is broken to remind me of this feeling of “Jesus broke my chains. Why are the hell am I allowing myself to let others’ wants and needs weigh that heavy on me and hold me back?” The hell if I know (actually I do, but… hey).
Some of my tattoos are supposed to be reminders, but it doesn’t really turn out working that way.
I have to be intentional. That’s another thing my therapist told me. I’ve wanted to write a book for like 5+ years now.
*Crickets*
Where is it?
Ha. Ha! Not published. Can’t be published if it ain’t written, amirite? . . . . .
Maybe I’ll share some of what I want to write about: me. <3
Thanks for reading, guys.
Catch ya next time,
Anna