The Day I Lost My Husband, Part One
05/06/2019
That day was a beautiful day. I was in a good mood overall even though there was some drama that morning with my job. I texted Matt screenshots of my conversation with our office manager at the time and he ended up calling me to see if I was okay. That was the last time I heard his voice here on earth, but I didn’t know it at the time (obviously).
One of the most odd things about that day was the earrings that I was wearing. I was wearing the same earrings the day that Matt died that I did on the day that we got back together (April 28, 2018). Crazy, right? Like it’s crazy that I was looking at the earrings on Kendra Scott.com that I would be wearing when my husband died. There was so much hope put into those earrings and there still is hope; Matt is in heaven now and I will see him again one day. How beautiful is that? That God gives us that choice. The choice to spend an eternity with Him and His one and only Son in heaven. The choice to BELIEVE that His Son died on the cross for our sins and to ACCEPT His Son. John 14:6, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me” (ESV; not that that matters). One thing that sticks out to me in that verse other than how to be saved obviously is the fact that “me” is not capitalized. Jesus had the same standards as all of us; He thought of Himself as our equal. What other God can say that? Jesus Christ, my peeps. He is the way, obviously. God sent His one and only Son for US. That should be humbling, am I right?
Anyways, back to the story and the title of this writing. Let’s go back to the start of the day, shall we? I can’t really remember what exactly happened when Matt got up and got dressed for (his final day of) work. I feel like I remember him telling me bye and giving me a hug and kiss, but it hasn’t really came to me just yet, hopefully it will. I went back to sleep after he told me bye and etc. I woke up and texted our office manager and she told me to basically not come in, but I’m so glad I did. I was so mad I was crying. But, it all got worked out. I remember exactly what I was wearing...my red long sleeve shirt from Walmart; it had silver stripes on it. With my jeggings also from Walmart, my rose gold sandals that zipped in the back, and my rose gold mother of pearl Kendra Scott Danielle earrings. I didn’t have any makeup on that day (praise the good Lord). My hair was up (probably in a bun) and I had my bangs at the time; Matt liked my bangs. And I did too.
I had to pick up my artwork from a show in Dresden, TN; it was at the Dresden City Hall. There was a piece in the show that I was gifting to one of my favorite professors. I got to UTM and opened my trunk and signed the back with a Sharpie not knowing the significance of that day. If you get nothing else out of this blog, please get this: live in the moment. Plan for tomorrow, but live like it’s your last. Always resolve things. Always tell them you love them. I’m SO. GLAD. that I had a very very happy and loving last memory of Matt. Anyways, back to the story. I even found out that I got my first solo art show that day! That day was a great day! Until about three o’clock. I think I ate Dairy Queen for lunch. I didn’t get to tell Matt about my solo show, but I had it in the month of September because his birthday is in September. <3
I drove to Maxxguard. I put my purse down with my phone in it in my dad’s office and didn’t pay any mind to it. I don’t know where my Apple watch was at the time; I either forgot to put it on like Matt did that morning or it was in my purse. I’m so glad I didn’t wear my watch that day and that I checked my phone when I did.
I was placing pictures and plaques in the hallway to be hung probably when he passed. Or I had just gotten there. Or I was talking to my good friend Nelle. Or I was driving and was almost to Maxxguard, I really don’t know.
I was talking to Nelle in the hallway and she was in the copy room/area. Dad came from the hallway and said, “Can you get Matt on the phone for me?” I told him I would. I just thought that Dad needed him to do something at Maxxguard. I had no idea of the context behind it. Little did I know that Dad was downstairs and got a phone call that a trooper was killed in Haywood County.
I grabbed my blue iPhone XR with my sprinkle phone case on it and had a text from Matt that said “finally on my way home,” a missed call from a friend that is married to a trooper that works with Matt, two missed calls from Chris (our mutual friend) and a missed call from a Memphis number; I thought that was just spam. Little did I know...
To be continued...
Posted: 03/12/2020