24
Twenty four.
Wow.
Honestly, I’m glad to have 23 behind me.
It was tough. It was hard. It was full of A LOT...but I’m thankful. I’m thankful for the hard times. I’m thankful for the woman I see in the mirror and the person I live with every single day: me. ❤️ I’m proud. In the year that I was 23, I’ve:
Had a surprise party thrown by Matt!
Got proposed to for the vow renewal ❤️
Choreographed and performed in my second UTM Dance Ensemble, “I’ll Be Me”
Found out I had my first solo art show!
Became a widow
Moved back home
Took a summer class at Jackson State
Fell in love with a good friend
Got my precious doggie, Violet Belle!
Had my senior art show
Graduated college and became UTM Alumni
Became single
Started living on my own (big step!)
Started this blog! 🙌🏻 THANK YOU GUYS
Met a guy and started dating, quickly loved him
That relationship ended
Realized Maxxguard is my home 🤎💛
This has been a good year, you guys. But it also has been F U L L of trials and tribulations. I’m thankful for it all. Without it, I wouldn’t be the woman I am today. I wouldn’t be the woman I live with everyday. I wouldn’t be the woman God wants me to be. Losing Matt was a HUGE reality check. Human life isn’t guaranteed. “I Lived” by OneRepublic comes to mind (I actually want that at my funeral). As well as “I Hope You Dance” by Lee Ann Womack, which I also want at my funeral. And “God is Able” by Hillsong UNITED is another one I want at my funeral. Enough about funerals! Lol.
On a serious note-I am so thankful I get to see 24. It’s a little bittersweet because Matt was 24 when he passed. But, God has a plan for me. I don’t know what that plan is exactly… but we WILL find out. One thing that I know for sure: eternal life is guaranteed through Jesus Christ. All ya have to do is believe and follow your heart. Amirite? I’ve had a L O N G journey with my faith……….. a long one. Believe me. But...God has ALWAYS taken care of me. Even when I was distant (which has been quite a bit). My Facebook may reflect that I’m super close to God, but in reality, I could be {a lot} closer; I need to be. I mostly post that stuff because of my OCD. Those of you who have it...you understand. Religion is one of the four sections so to speak of OCD. I’m so thankful for the blessed assurance that God gives me. I realized that Jesus died for ME and not just everyone. It was a reality check. November 5th, 2019 my life was changed: I got saved. Blessed Assurance...Jesus is mine. ❤️ this is my story, this is my song praising my Savior all the day long..❤️
You never know when it’s your last moment. So eat that cupcake. Text that guy. Tell that girl you love her. Don’t wait. Don’t ever regret anything. Just learn from it, alright?
It’s crazy how different my life is now than it was a year ago when I was 22 waiting to turn 23. I know that Matt’s up there on the outskirts of heaven in our perfect heaven by our perfect God. And I know he’ll be at the pearly gates when it’s my time. ❤️ I love him so much. And as much as I know I love Matt, I want to love another as well. I don’t know who God has for me, but I hope and pray that I love again. I know I can, I’ve loved three people since Matt passed. All of them didn’t work out…I chose to end one of the relationships. The other guy played games. And one didn’t love me back. But that’s okay. I’d rather love and lose rather than not love at all. 💗 tell them how you feel/be vulnerable (it actually makes you stronger). One thing I’ve learned through therapy and through this tragedy I’ve been through is this: me. I’ve learned more about my heart and how it works. I’m WAY more in tune with my emotions and what they mean. After all, love is a CHOICE and a feeling, amirite?
The woman in front of me in the mirror deserves the world. She’s been put through hell and doesn’t need to settle for anything but the best (which I have, believe me HA) Lol Momma Kimmie - I’m looking @ you to laugh at me and agree! Lol. But it’s all been worth it. And God has protected me = Every. Single. Time. Even though I am single right now, I will make someone very happy one day. To whoever my Bachelor is: I’m ready to know who you are!
I see a woman who is strong. Who is fierce. Who is worthy of love and capable of reciprocating that love. I see a woman who is a mess, but who is worth it. I see anxiety, but I also have a big heart that I wear on my sleeve. I’m worth it.
Today I celebrate me: the good and the bad. I’ve grown to love myself, (still working on the respect part), appreciate myself, accept myself.
Today I see a strong and beautiful woman. And I am so proud. And so thankful that God has protected me time and time again. Even though my birthday was not what I necessarily planned for, IT WAS AMAZING! God always provides!!!!!
So...Happy 24th Birthday to me, Anna Caroline Lax Gatti! I cannot wait to see what 24 holds!
Thank you for reading 💝
Xoxo
The birthday girl
Posted: 03/25/2020