Homophobic

When I was younger, I didn’t know I was gay. Now that I look back, it makes sense.

Being gay does not mean that you are different.

It is simple: your sexuality is just that, your sexuality.

Homosexuality is in the same category as heterosexuality, but for some reason, people cannot seem to quit harping on homosexuality.

So, Karen, this one’s for you.

I’ll be honest, when I first discovered I liked women and when I was bisexual back then, I am a lesbian now, I felt very alone aside from God and a few really good and best friends. The LGBTQ+ community was not the best at being inclusive or welcoming. In fact, my whole time in the closet was guided by straight people. Now, I could’ve made more of an effort to reach out to our community, it’s not like they’re mind-readers. I just thought it would be different.

Now that I’m out, I have had trials and tribulations. It is not rainbows and unicorns and fairies and candy and sunshine and damn roses. If anything, it’s the rain, tangled up horse hair, and thorns. But we still bleed. Because that’s who we are.

No gay person is going to tell you their road has been easy, I promise you. I don’t care if their whole circle in life has been accepting, they’ve had heartache somewhere.

I watched my friend, my brother, bleed, literally, over a boyfriend. He cut himself because he was in so much emotional pain. I’ve watched people not want to be gay.

It is not easy being HUMAN.

People don’t seem to focus so hard on who people are attracted to when it’s a man and a woman.

My favorite thing that has happened to me are the articles I didn’t ask for.

When I was first struggling with liking women, God was there. He was the reason that I wasn’t alone. And you wanna tell me God hates gay people? No mam. No sir.

I was sitting in weaving class back in either 2018 and 2019 and I had my headphones in but could still hear, this is back before AirPods, and I overheard a conversation that made my blood boil. There was a group of people talking about God and being gay and how God hated them. And how they were okay with going to hell because God hated them. And it burned me up. Because that is just not true. The fact that they would think God would hate them just burns me up because that is not God. God is NOT hate, God is LOVE. No matter what that looks like. And, oh, hey, Karen, that includes any sexuality or gender identity!

Let me clarify: gender identity and sexuality are two totally different subjects.

Jesus sat with everyone, not just the skirt-wearers. Or the ones who didn’t wear “whore-ish” makeup. Or God forbid the women in the pants.

There is a reason people feel more welcome at a bar than a church.

That reason is not because of Jesus, it’s because of people. Why do you think I don’t have a church family?

Squirrel Story: There was a man, an assistant pastor, in Nashville that changed my perspective on church. He restored my faith in people, in Christians. He knew that a couple was living together before marriage (such a scandal!) and he was going to marry them anyway; he loved them anyway. THAT is how Jesus is. The woman said, “You knew we were living together before marriage and you still are going to marry us?” He said, “Yep.” Wow. THAT is an example of who God is. But THEN - his “best man” dropped out of their wedding because of that reason. What a good friend, an excellent example of Christ, and what a good person. 🙄

Okay, back to my reasons.

There is a reason medicine is evolving.

That reason is because God created medicine and doctors.

There is a reason medicine was invented to help mental health.

The reason is because God knows that our brains need other help and He made a way for that.

“Just pray about it.” Oh okay. That’ll fix it. Get your damn brain out of the closed area, please.

And there are reasons our prayers are not always answered the way we want them to be. I definitely would not be where I am today with some of the prayers I wanted answered. And I am thankful. God always has our backs and He does not hate us.

I have experience with backlash from religious Christians. And it scarred me for life.

I want to show who God really is and what it’s like to have a relationship with Him and not a business deal. God is not a set of rules that are required for Him to accept us; that is not unconditional and perfect love. So let’s stop sharing what God is not.

Perhaps I was made for this. I was made for this.

Love has gotten lost in the translation.

Let’s talk about “phobic.”

It’s not just homosexuality that people have phobias against. What about politics? Or anything else? Why is there such a stigma around “not agreeing with” homosexuality? Why do people make other peoples’ sexuality their business? It’s a they problem, not an us problem.

Why do we jump to hate and not love? Why do we jump to negative and not positive? Why do we exclude instead of accept? Those are important questions we need to ask ourselves. We need to do better. Because this is our faults. Our hearts need fixing. It simply doesn’t matter if you “agree” with someone else or not. What does matter is how you love and respect people. What do your actions say about YOU and your God? And is it truth? What is truth? See ya in an upcoming blog.

Examine yourself.

A