Anxiety is Re(a)d
You know that song by Taylor Swift, “Red?” That’s where this title comes from.
I was going to title it “Anxiety is Re(a)d to play on social media’s input on things and also how people are all different, but oh well.
Scratch that - I changed the title. You can always expect me to pretty much always do the unexpected. Or at least to be unpredictable, but also reliable. Yes? Typical Anna.
As I was cooking dinner the other night, I found myself sitting on my kitchen floor along with my pup just crying. Eventually, it passed. That, my friends, is what an anxiety attack can look like. Amirite?
Anxiety comes in all different shapes, forms, colors, and sizes.
My anxiety’s color is a red with a slight pinkish tint to it when it bleeds (suffers). Morbid, I know.
Some people just don’t understand anxiety. The most important thing is that they try to understand and try to accommodate. Or at least try to listen.
Some people just don’t think like you do; this is something one of my best friends taught me.
Being in your head is okay.
Getting excited is okay.
Planning is okay.
Getting off of social media helps my worrying mind. If you Google anxiety, worry seems to come up, yes?
I can hear somebody now… “well if you are a Christian, isn’t that worry and anxiety supposed to change?” No. Not necessarily. I’ve said this time and time again and I’ll say today, tomorrow, and the next day as long as I have the opportunity: being a child of God DOES NOT make your life “easier.” Being a child of God gives you a ticket into heaven and a forever best friend; someone to always be there. It doesn’t mean you don’t have challenges or a hard quote on quote life.
Let this sink in: I’m a Christian. And I lost my husband.
Insert mic drop here.
I prayed. I asked for his health and safety, a long life together. To grow old together. What did I get? I got to be a widow at 23 years old.
But I’m thankful to still be here and that I’m able to love again.
Another thing to remember in this life: God works in mysterious ways.
Also: and this is a verse, but God works things out for our benefit. Time and time again I’ve seen God turn my sin into something good. To something to my benefit. He turns messes into messages. Tests into testimonies. I’m sure we’ve all heard those two sentences before, yes? They’re great knowledge. Truth.
Anxiety’s color is a red, I believe. Red, to me, can represent anger. It can represent love. There are certain things we associate colors with. I think I said earlier that anxiety is a red with a little bit of a pink when it’s bleeding? Yes, that one.
Let’s talk about the title. We’ve got “Red” by Taylor Swift and the word read. I hate social media. Absolutely hate it. It has no benefit other than keeping up with people. It also permits laziness. We forget to check on a person, but instead, we look at their social media or we just settle for that. NO.
Bottom line is: I hate social media. Hate it! I just got a notification from my motivational app, and I’ve gotten this one a lot, while writing this: “one day you’ll be proud you made it through this.” Hmmm. It’s those kind of things that make you go “hmmm.”
I’m tired of reading into Facebook posts. “Did she mean that?” “What does that mean?” No. We ain’t doing it. If you want communication from me, text me. It’s that simple.
Fear. A complex, yet simple little thing. A big thing. Little man syndrome. I refuse to submit to fear. My motivational app again, coming in clutch said: “falling in love is like jumping off a really tall building. Your head tells you “Idiot, you’re gonna die!” But your heart tells you, “Don’t worry you can fly.” Isn’t that a beautiful quote? Yep, it is. Love is a risk. It’s also a choice. It’s hard. There’s also a thin line between love and hate as well.
Hope is always stronger than fear.
If I could give myself an advice, it would be to not submit in fear. No matter what. Fear is not a reason to flee/flight.
I refuse to submit to fear. Fear is a liar. God is NOT the author of confusion, Satan is. Like a lot of people say these days, not today Satan.
A