Shirt Off Their Back

Have you ever met someone and you’re like, “They’re such a good person, they would give the shirt off their back for anyone,”? Yeah, me too. A bunch of times.

BUT - something I’ve learned recently: not all of those people have your best interest at heart.

And let me explain why.

I feel like this season of life is a season of learning. I’m learning how to see through others’ bullsh*t and see more clear of their intentions, yes?

“If you hurt her, I’ll hurt you.” “Don’t you dare hurt her.” And they respond as if they have the best intentions, but you quickly learn that they may have, but hurt you. Now I know to not always trust that. It makes me mad to think I was going to choose them and then I got really sh*itted on. Makes me mad I trusted them. Maybe they didn’t intend to hurt me, but they should at least own up to it. Or act like I exist at least. You know, it’s really hard to do. 🥴 Let me say this again: they wouldn’t want their friends to be treated this way. 😊

My gut was totally off. I trusted them. I saw a future with them. They were my friend forever and now, they’ve treated me like trash, like I never even mattered. Everything they’ve said is now tainted. Can you imagine how upset they’d be if someone did that to one of their friends?

Let’s take a moment of silence for the hypocrisy. And the sh*tty-ness.

Yes, I’m hurt. Yes, I’m mad. And you better bet we’re going to have a conversation, probably painful, about all of this before we ever resemble friendship again.

You see - we resembled a relationship but never really had a relationship. Because now, it’s all bullsh*t. I really cared about this person. And they sure as hell act like they care about me - HA!

It’s crazy to me how that same person who is very loyal to their friends can treat their other friend and now ex lover like yesterday’s trash. I’ve been that person. And they obviously haven’t learned that life lesson yet. I’ve hurt people. Over and over and over. I’ve held that knife that hurts people, and I’ve also held it to myself by allowing that sh*t. But one thing I’ve learned this year: DO NOT PLAY WITH SOMEONE ELSE’S HEART.

We have to do better. Please, for the love of texting, DO NOT end a relationship over text just because you “cannot wait” until you’re in person. Seriously? Damn. And I thought you were one of the kindest people ever. I guess not to me.

Think about this, chew on this: POV: they take you to meet like all of their friends at like one time. They show you off. You’re obviously out of their league, I mean hello. Maybe - just maybe - they introduced you to their friends as a distraction to how they really feel about you. Introducing you to their friends thinking it’ll help. Kinda like when someone gets pregnant to try to save their relationship, that kind of thinking.

I told y’all I was going to be more savage. Buckle in. You never know who is going to be my #womancrushwednesday 😉

The introduction to the friends does not mean validation of a long-term commitment. It should, but doesn’t always. Another lesson learned.

They probably were looking for a certain spark they didn’t necessarily feel, or maybe, their definition is misguided, or they’re misinformed as to what a spark means.

So we can’t have a spark, but we can have milestones in the relationship?

The other night I had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right with them. So I acted on it and checked on them even through another person. I’m telling you, once I care, I care. That’s why I am so upset at all of this. Because I was going to choose this person. And that doesn’t sit well with me.

Guess what - an easy guess - no response. To two different text messages at two different times. Oh, by the way, I’m doing okay. Thanks for not asking.

Let’s try to act like decent human beings. This person is a good person, they’ve just got a lot of sh*t and damage on top of that, trust me, I know that all too well, as my girl Taylor Swift said. I mean, I am the Taylor Swift of blogging.

I hate to say I understand this type of behavior and what’s it’s like to treat people this way, because I do, unfortunately. But I’ve learned my lessons and I’ve learned that no matter how hard it is, we must do better and do the right thing, treat people well. No matter how hard that is. We need to think of other people as well as ourselves. One of my friends talks about perception versus reality. I perceived that they had good intentions for me, I knew they were damaged. Hell, I’m damaged. I would think at the very least, they’d have common decency as a friend to me, but I stand corrected. Reality was - they weren’t that into me, I guess. Which is crazy to me. We weren’t compatible.

Hurt people hurt people.

Another life lesson: if you’re not okay on your own, examine that sh*t. If you rely on other people and other peoples’ validation, you’re going to be disappointed. Don’t do that. Your worth should come from God and yourself. The only ones that have to live with you and your decisions, really, are you and God.

When this person came back into my life, I thought it was what God wanted/a God thing. And maybe it was. I think it was.

But when sh*t started to hit the literal fan, I looked at God and all I could do was ask for clarity. That’s a different blog. Maybe next time.

Fact is, I relied on this person, trusted them. I knew that if I lost them, it would hurt. But I’d be okay. Fact is: I chose them. And made the wrong choice. First and foremost, I should’ve and should choose me. As all of you should do.

Yes, they should be embarrassed by these actions. Yes, I deserve an apology. It’s not my responsibility to know their reasoning. But it is my responsibility to have grace and hold my head up high and fix that crown.

Nobody puts baby in the corner, yes?

A