Relationships: Can You Relate? The Answer is Yes
Relationships: Can You Relate? The Answer is Yes
No matter what stage of life we’re in, we can relate on one thing: relationships. Oftentimes, there is turbulence involved, amirite? Relationships are HARD. Challenging. Love can hurt. Especially when you really don’t understand or really have closure. When you see something there, but it’s not happening. When the only thing you can do is just look to God and say, “God, I love _____. Help.” And ask for His will and KNOW it’ll work out if it’s supposed to, as my best friend said to me last night.
Another thing that’s hard is knowing when to move on or to try again in another relationship. Is too soon really that soon? Who can determine when you’re “ready?” YOU. And I don’t know that we’re ever ready or “over” the past relationship.
Another thing that I believe to also be possible is loving two people at once, just like the real life Bachelor/Bachelorette. It’s okay to love two people or how many other people there are. It’s okay to be confused. Allow yourself the time and space to figure it all out. I’ve been in multiple situations where I’ve cared for multiple people and have been torn. And that’s okay. It’ll often play out the way it’s supposed to and you will be shown by the Man upstairs what the sitch is. Anyone else get that Kim Possible reference?
I’m sure you’ve heard of the Tiger King show on Netflix. It is a little unconventional and that’s OKAY. One thing that this show has affirmed for me is to be yourself. Love what you love. And be okay with it. Even though a lot of the stuff in the show is different (different does not mean wrong/weird, it simply means different) than what we might be used to, it doesn’t make it wrong or make it right. Just like what we are used to isn’t wrong and isn’t right as well. We all sin. We are all equal. Period! For example...I’ve seen A LOT of couples who meet in college and get engaged and get married shortly after graduation and they get a place and then about a year later they have a kid and have that stereotypical relationship that we all strive for. I don’t want that. I don’t want that typical love story of these times. Or one that’s out of a storybook (Those don’t exist). I want my own story. I want that relationship that figures it out.
I’ve been in one of those lurve situations where it’s not ideal to be together. Or in one where “I’m not sure it’ll work.” *eyeroll* Wouldn’t you rather see where it goes and just try rather than not try at all? It could be something great. I often times tend to be the one to be assertive. Sometimes, actually a lot of the time, I just want somebody to fight for me. Or I don’t know...not leave me hanging for weeks. What really feels great is when you THINK they care about you, but their actions after the fact make it seem like they don’t. When this person was one of your people. One you talked to regularly and then as soon as feelings were brought up, no response. McExcuse me, b*tch? Anyone else get that reference? If you don’t...YouTube it. It’ll change your life for sure.
I just took a break and checked my phone. I read the daily Bible verse again. It says:
“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer, and by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are holy, enthroned on the praises of Israel.” Psalms 22:1-3 ESV
As far as the context of this verse, I have no idea. I’m not gonna lie, I don’t know the stories of the Bible. My faith is very faith and relationship based. I should change that, but I’m not going to lie about it either. I sin and fall short of the glory of God all the dang time. As we all do! Hey, there’s a verse about it. Romans 3:23-26, people. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.” One thing I don’t want to do and I may end up doing it anyways: is being a robot who has a strong faith. That’s not going to happen. I sin all the time, just like I said earlier. I try to do it my way and most of the time end right back up letting God do it just like I should have in the first place. But hey, that’s my personality.
One thing that I desire most in this world is a partner. Who loves me unconditionally and I them. I don’t want a robot boyfriend or a robot husband. I want someone who is real and raw, just like I try to be. Someone who is honest. And upfront. And confrontational. And who will put me in my place when I need it. Don’t get me wrong...I want him RIGHT NOW. But...that may not be what God wants at this time unfortunately. I know what I am capable of and what I want to give to somebody. And it’s scary. And if we’re being completely honest here, I’ve kinda learned I do have trust issues a little bit. My heart moves fast, but there’s scar tissue. I’m thankful for the heartache because it has made my heart stronger and developed trust issues because I tend to trust too easily. I’m thankful for the hardship. It makes me who I am. And who I choose to love “forever” will want to know all about what makes me Anna. What makes me tick. All of the sh*t that has shaped me. Because at the end of the day...it matters. It’s relevant. And no one will ever take that away from me like I’ve almost allowed them to.
One of my other desires is to be a mother with the love of my life. I really hope that happens one day. Hopefully. :) I need to pray about that more than I do. Which is little to none; I need to do better than that.
Ever feel like the people who you really want to read your post will read it and not do anything, but you write it anyway? That’s me. Like all the time.
But I guess all I can do at this given moment is just tell God how I feel. Because He is the One who is gonna listen. Will you?
When you don’t think anything will change, but you never know. #sigh
If you think that if I’m writing about you or towards you or if this applies to...speak up. Talk to me. I don’t bite.
What’s the worst thing that’ll happen other than what ifs?
Whoever my dude is...hurry up. Thanks *kisses*
XOXO
Anna
04/10/2020
By: Anna Lax Gatti
Posted: 04/10/2020