Woman Crush Wednesday

Happy Wednesday, my lovelies!

Don’t you remember the good times where every Wednesday we hoped for that special shout-out on Instagram and Facebook and maybe even Snapchat (not sure if that was a thing)?

Food for Thought Today: let’s be our own Woman Crush Wednesday, shall we?

Today, I want to talk about ME.

Pretty much all my life, believe it or not, I have struggled with confidence in myself. I almost feel almost like a hypocrite; I even said in therapy yesterday that I almost feel like a fraud. She told me that I’m also figuring out who I am.

Finding out who you are and really nailing that down (I like that quote!): those processes are probably one of the most important journeys of one’s life. Figuring it all out should deserve a trophy because it’s hard, let me tell ya.

One of my ultimate goals is to finally be not afraid of being my true and authentic self. Amen? Learning exact who God called and created me to be. And to stand firm in who I am and not waiver. So I’m going to work on that and I will achieve that goal. And someone (hopefully the right person) will see that worth. Yes?

Until we find our “person,” we must be okay alone. I’m talking the meals alone, figuring out what to cook alone, laundry alone, sitting on the couch feeling like a looser alone.

My friend told me a few weeks ago that if I have a roof over my head, bills are paid, food to eat, I’m okay. The rest will come later. The rest will come later.

Being okay alone and not depending on another person is liberating (and HARD and also is a process) and it feels like the safest and sometimes easiest option.

My best friend sent me a quote yesterday. It read something like this, “having a healthy relationship after a toxic one is hard.” It is indeed. I began to think about my relationships, friendships really, and yes I thought about my last relationship and just how bad the affect is on me, but, also, the friendships I’ve had.

Let me tell you, I’ve had a lot of people leave. Like a lot. And the easy thing to do is wonder what’s wrong with me. Ultimately, the best attitude to have is: it’s their loss. I told Britt that there was always this fear in my mind that my friends will leave. I know who my friends are who have stuck around even when I’ve bitten their head off or when being my friend wasn’t the best or healthiest option for them. Thank you. You know who you are. ♥️

It takes a lot for me to truly trust someone. Initially, especially if we click, I welcome you with open arms. I get super excited about you and then I can become ice queen if something goes wrong. Or I guess if subconsciously I start to self destruct and push you away. Which I’ve done SO many times. But with true self confidence, I’ll turn away from those unhealthy and codependent ways.

“Fake it until you make it.” No, that stops today. How about some true honesty? If you ain’t okay, own it. It’s fine. The people who are going to leave, will leave. The people who want to stay, will stay. If they wanted to talk to you, they would. I don’t know who needs to hear this, but: if they wanted to talk to you, they would. And if you want to talk to them, do so.

Faith it until you make it. That’s better.

Know who you are and Whom you belong to. Ultimately, the reason we’re here is because of Him. The only true opinions that matter are your own and His own. Yes? Let that sink in for me.


Get to know yourself. Get to know God. Damage is okay to have. It does get better. We are all damaged. Don’t pretend like you aren’t. Be relatable. Be different. Be YOU and be GOD’s. Confidently. It’s a day to day journey. Don’t forget that. Don’t take things so so seriously. “Life’s a clime, enjoy the journey.” I don’t know about you…but, there isn’t always joy spelled out in the journey. And our social media shouldn’t reflect that either. Let me say that again:

Our social media should not reflect that our lives are all positive things.

I cannot stand it when someone is too positive. On a chemistry stand point, there HAS to be negative to have positive. Ying yang. The Lokai bracelets (which I absolutely adore) have water from the lowest and highest points of the earth. But let’s just forget about the low. 🥴

“Be positive.” “Stay positive.” Okay, what about realism?

What about being realistic?

Oh, and how about, being too religious. How about a WOW Wednesday !! Let’s go there.

OHhhhhhhhhhh, relationship versus religion.

You do know that God died for gay people, right? You do know that being gay is not a choice, right? Have you ever sat down and tried to understand and listen? Do you invest in people? Do you love people? You do know that Jesus sat with the sinners and not the “righteous” right? And that that was done out of love? Where’s our love? Especially for ourselves. Mine ebbs and flows.

I am talking about the people you just talked crap about at church. I’m talking about the person your husband cheated on you with. I’m talking about said husband. I’m talking about your ex that hurt you so bad. Pray for them, your perspective will change a little bit. God can help you let go. Let’s quit underestimating Him and underestimating ourselves, okay? Okay. One of God’s greatest commandments is to love others and love Him. Isn’t that what true Christianity is about? Loving people? Last time I checked, the people who think God hates them because they’re gay, those people haven’t been shown love. Let me say that again:

WE are the example of Christ to other people. That is SCARY.

If we ain’t going to love them, who will? Anything can happen. DO IT. Right then. Right now. You could die today, so could they. Live everyday like it’s your last and plan for the future, baby. I’ve learned that one the hard way.

I love God. He always gives me a second chance. He’s good like that. Remember, no one can love us like God can. God doesn’t get petty over things. God loves us perfectly and undeniably, truly. He’s right there no matter what. He accepts us no matter what. He accepts us no matter who we love. Okay?

I remember that post about someone who came to church and he said he felt more welcome at a bar than he did in that church. PHEW. We gotta do better, fam. We gotta show the love of God, fam. That’s not God. Period! But that is the message we sending. 😟

Lemme just reiterate:

WE are the example of Christ to other people. That is SCARY.

Ever been burned in the church? That wasn’t God. People aren’t perfect. Remember, that good ole quote, “hurt people hurt people.” And it’s so easy to not make God a priority. I do it all the time.

Own your sh*t.

I have a friend whose bio on Facebook says, “I love Jesus and I cuss a little.” AMEN!

Be like that.

Be remarkable. Be the best version of yourself and don’t settle for less. Because I promise you that it is not worth it.

And PLEASE, for me, DO NOT only invest in just your relationship or marriage. Because, that too, has bitten me in the ass. Friends are important. Who do you think are going to be at your spouse’s funeral?

Be your own “Woman Crush Wednesday.” Know who you are. And if you don’t know, make that one of your main priorities. That’s what I’m doing. Phew, I feel like the past 2.5 years have been freaking crazy in my life. I’ve seen more heartache than most people my age.

I am one of the most complex women you will meet; I suggest you do not allow the opportunity to pass you by to get to know me because you would be missing out.

One friend told me I had a lot of layers. She’s right! And trauma attached to those layers. One day, the thought of someone wanting me will not feel impossible. One day, I will be healed from this heartbreak I feel now. One day, I will have that 110% true self confidence in ANNA. One day. One day. All days: work has to be done.

Do the work. Because it will catch up to you one day.

Another quote…… “one day or day one?”

I’m dropping my mic now.

Xoxo,

Your woman crush,

Anna 😘